3 Months and My Period Came Today

It’s been three months, three months since my little ones came and went. 

I miss them. 

I miss them even more than before. I’m getting so close to the time they should have been born. Our psychologist said to not think about the future we would have had, had they been born, but I can’t help but think about it sometimes.

I held their pictures and put their arm-bands on my fingers. I cried. I cried desperately. I would wish this feeling on no one. I miss them. I miss them so so much. 

I love them, and I still believe their souls weren’t ready to be here. 

Today, my period came. It’s a few days late. I’m in the middle of my 2nd IVF cycle and I really wanted it to be on time. I should know better, nothing ever goes the way I plan it. Huh. I wonder if it ever will. Only time will tell.

We’ll when I get pregnant again, this will be day one of my next pregnancy. Ironically, 9 months from today is Dec. 9th, 2011.  Exactly one year to the day, Kea and Kili came and went.